Rock-a-Bye Myles

I'm just going to put it out there. I'm sitting here looking into the eyes of our son-the picture in front of me of Myles (we can "find him" in any room of our house)--he's in a frame or two in all of them. I cannot wait to hug this little boy and tell him how much I've missed him. Tell him how I've longed for him for months, whisper in his soft ear how much I have ached for him, both physically and emotionally. There is NO difference in this "paper-pregnancy" compared to my two biological pregnancies-the longings and indescribable desire to protect, smother with touch, and love unconditionally, are just overwhelming. I absolutely hate what he has already been through in his short life-that he was kept warm and safe in his mother's womb for 9 months, only to lose her forever only a few short months later. We grieve with him already at this deep, deep loss. At the same, incomprehensible moment, we are insanely overjoyed that God has given us Myles as our son. I sat in his nursery last night when Peter was reading to our other two children. I rocked in the rocking chair and closed my eyes. I pictured him in my arms and sang silently to him in my heart. I "sang" the words that my mother and mother-in-law came up with for Keith when he was born-- to the tune of "Rock-a-Bye Baby":

Rock-a-bye Myles,
Sent from Above.
The Father has made you
With Perfect Love
The Shepherd will guide you
All your life through
So rock-a-bye Myles,
Mommy loves you.